MECHANICS OF ABUSE
Most abusive relationships, regardless of their scope, follow a rather simple pattern that can be easily recognized if someone knows what to look for:
1) Invalidation and suppression of recognition of abuse for what it is through various means by attacking and manipulating perception of the recipient(s) of abuse. Commonly there is an effort to mask the abuse with statements of positive intention such as “trying to help,” “doing it for your own good,” “doing it for the good of the people [family; country; humanity; etc],” and the like.
2) Introverting the recipient on one’s own self and one’s own thoughts and actions through blame, accusations, fault-finding, various forms of vilification or some overwhelming reasoning why the recipient deserves to receive the abusive treatment (which again is often masked as something else).
3) Continuous propaganda to present the abuser (whether individual or group or some organization) in a positive light (such as being noble, righteous, knowing better, a caring friend, people’s protector, and the like).
INDICATORS OF SUPPRESSIVE MANIPULATION
It is overall a good idea to have a list of observations that can be made in someone’s behavior to identify a problematic relationship or influence.
- Speaking of you and/or others in a hostile manner that is strained, unfounded or simply unnecessary.
- Making an extra effort to build up and enforce a positive image of oneself in the minds of others which can serve as a “smoke screen” and prevent others from perceiving the suppressive manipulator for what he/she/it is.
- Using pain and the threat of suffering as a method in reducing others into fearful compliance. If not in a position of strength, trying to bring others into a state of compliance through inducing a sense of guilt, fear, or insecurity – a form of attack on an emotional level that is less obvious.
- Seeming inability to tolerate criticism especially where a merely critical view in manipulator’s direction is met with an over-exaggerated dramatic reaction. This is to suppress scrutiny and formation of clear perception of the suppressive manipulator (individual, group, or any other form of intelligence).
- Can be seen to approve of flattery and propitiation and often trying to get people into that state by dramatizing unfounded suspicion and accusations of ill-will which prompt people to either “get in line” or in actual fact develop ill-will. A part of this may be posing a great degree of “admiration” for the right line of behavior that may quickly turn into scathing criticism should one “step out of line.”
- Poor ability to listen and acknowledge communication for what it is. A suppressive manipulator may pretend to “listen” in order to then distort the communication in using it to further attack and manipulate the subject(s).
- Often times a suppressive manipulator will promote oneself as a solution to the problem(s) that he/she/it actually creates or projects into the minds of others.
A suppressive manipulator commonly positions oneself as an authority over defining the manipulated subject’s identity within the relationship. This manipulator-manipulated dynamic can be viewed by looking at the way perception is formed and manipulated. See page Identity and Conditions to see how identity labels and definitions have been used to manipulate people in Scientology.
A major issue with persons who operate on an intention to manipulate others is that such people cannot be trusted – they cannot be trusted with authenticity of what they communicate to others, and they cannot be trusted with communication from others to them as it can serve as a resource for the furtherance of manipulation schemes.
It also goes without saying that when someone’s efforts at suppressive manipulation become easily recognized for what they are, they become largely ineffective. This is why successful manipulation schemes often incorporate efforts to reduce the level of intelligence and ability of the target subject(s). Hence, if someone recognizes oneself to be a subject of suppressive manipulation, it would usually prove to be much more productive to distance oneself and engage in the enhancement of one’s intelligence and abilities rather than try to deal with manipulator unprepared.
What is an ENEMY?
An ENEMY is a term that can be applied to someone with an intention to destroy usually based on some form of hostile perception of the target of destruction along with an unwillingness to reconcile. The unwillingness can be masked with pretense of good intentions and cooperation which can make an enemy that much more dangerous.
Questions related to an enemy can be the same as for suppression: WHAT (the target of destruction), HOW (method of destruction), WHO (source of destructive intentions), and WHY (the reason for destructive intentions).
It is not enough to simply identify someone as an enemy, label them as such, and initiate an attack campaign, especially if the condition of an enemy is based on some form of hostile perception. The source of such hostile perception needs to be identified. Did that person generally become hostile as a result of prior abuse and betrayals which may have lead such a person to form hostile perceptions and mistrust of others as well as develop tactics of overcoming or eliminating the “perceived threat?” Or did the person form hostile perception based on some form of propaganda or psychological manipulation or influence by another? Or did your own actions cause the formation of hostile perception of you in another that you now identify to be your enemy?
Clear vision and understanding of the perception and intentions as well as how they formed in another is key to effective resolution.
MORE MATERIAL PENDING FOR THIS PAGE…